THE EVANGELIST….PART 16.

©Temi Akintade

We were getting ready for the India trip. The doctors had done all the necessary arrangements that were needed and I had done all the bookings that needed to be done as well.

"After this whole thing is over, I'm going to take you to Disney land. Just me and you! We're going to play and talk, and I'm going to buy you a tiara okay princess?" She nodded. But I doubt if she knew the meaning of tiara anyway.

We were currently lying in my sitting room on the sofa while she was lying on my chest. I had told Ifunaya to put up at my house since we were both traveling soon. She agreed. We were leaving in two days.

"What about me? Won't you take mummy out too?" She cast a longing glance at me. I knew what she met. Lately, we have become close again, trying to rekindle the old moments but no matter how hard I try to talk about wanting us to be in a relationship again, I feel restrained in my Spirit almost as if something terrible was about to happen.

Although something terrible did happen. That night, while baby Ifunaya slept on my chest, I stopped hearing her breathing. I thought at first, that her breathing was only shallow. But after some time, I realized that she wasn't breathing. I got pensive. I quickly jerked to my feet while holding her in my arm.

Ifunaya let out a piercing scream. "What is it?"

I glanced at her. A slippery glance and tried to peel off my gaze from her. I didn't know how to tell her that baby Ifunaya wasn't breathing and she could be dead.
Instead, I said, "let's rush her to the hospital! Get me my keys!"

****
"God gives and God takes." A woman started to say. I ignored the rest of her statement. How could God give us such beautiful life and take her away just like that?

Baby Ifunaya has been buried. Ifunaya was grieved and couldn't be consoled. Her sister and Rita held her down and continued rocking her back and forth. But I was more broken. I never knew her. At least if God had told me that I had a daughter somewhere maybe I would have been able to protect her or at least get to know her better before she died.

But Kauna thinks differently. She had called from the UK. I remembered how excited she had been when I informed her about the university that was ready to accept her. She has been in the U.K. for a month now and despite the huge time difference when she saw my Instagram post. "I believe that God didn't want to let you know about baby Ifunaya because you would have been distracted from your assignment in Kaduna." She should have earned a thumbs up from me for her wise statement but I didn't want to understand.

"So are you trying to say that my daughter is a distraction?" My fist tightened and I pressed the phone to my ear. I hugged myself with the other hand. I was currently outside my home, entertaining visitors from the church who had come to mourn with me and Ifunaya. It was drizzling. I should go inside but I didn't care. My baby was 6ft down and that means that she would be cold too.

A tear rolled down my face.

"I hope you know God loves her more than you do. And she is in a better place now. She is with her heavenly father far away from the pains of this world. Far away from the pains of her illness." She paused then continued. "Chuks." My body tensed at the mention of my name. I recalled that I was the one who had permitted her to call me by my first name. There was a familiar warmth that filled my insides the moment she mentioned my name.
"You have dealt with grief before. I would suggest you man up and show Ifunaya the way out of this. Remember God loves you and wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

I thanked her and ended the call. Kauna was always right. And sometimes I wondered if it was just me who had impacted her because she seemed to know more than I do now.

Rita was the last person to leave. She left late in the evening and before she left, she asked that I see her off to the gate.
"Drive safe Rita."

"Chuks. I observed something." She wanted to speak but she hesitated.

But I urged her to speak.

"Will Ifunaya be sleeping at your place? Just you and her alone?" She opened her car door and flung her handbag in.

I shook my head. How was that her business? That was why I didn't like to keep church friends. "Wait, what is wrong with that? The mother of my dead child should be able to stay with me until she is done grieving."

Rita chuckled. Amazed at my senseless statement. "When did you become senseless Chuks? It seems you lost your senses the moment you buried your daughter."

I grimaced. Her statement had stung me like a bee sting. "Why would you make such a statement? How dare you talk about my senses in that manner? If you were in my shoes, wouldn't you do the same!" I was yelling now.

"No! I wouldn't!" She yelled too. "I would ensure that her sister takes her back home, while I pay her few visits and face my life!" Her voice strangely lowered.

I shook my head, unable to believe Rita's outburst. Or was she jealous? No, she couldn't be. She was getting married to her fiance of 5 years the following year.

"Chuks think! She is your ex-baby mama. Now the cord that binds you two are gone. Face your life until God says otherwise. I will be leaving now." She slid into her car, pulled out of my compound, and zoomed off.

Deflated and confused I walked into the house. Ifunaya was asleep on the sofa when I came in. Her sister said something about going back home and coming back the following day. I tapped her by the arm. She opened her eyes. Those were the very cat-like eyes that made me fall in love with her.

"You should go to bed. It's getting late." I sat on the sofa and held her hand. She began to cry so I hugged her and she stifled her sob.

"It's cold Chuks stay with me." I froze, my embrace slackened. What did she just say? I pulled out of her embrace swiftly.

"Besides we need another baby to replace the one we loosed." More tears rolled down her cheeks. "I have missed you over the years."

"Months Ifunaya. I was only gone for a few months. You should stop this. Baby Ifunaya was the only cord that bonded us both. You need to stop this." I tried to leave but she held my hands.

"Don't go this to me Chuks. I'm almost running crazy because my child died. Don't reject me. I need to be comforted." She pleaded.

"And you think the only way you can be comforted is in my arms, and on the bed with me? Don't be crazy Ifunaya." I rose to my feet. She stood up too. Desperation filled her eyes.

"I need you please!"

"God will not permit me to do this Ifunaya. As much as I want to, I love and fear God too much to do this with you."

She froze. "God this God that." I was startled at her tone now. It was hard. "The other day, when I told you to book a reservation for us for dinner at a restaurant. You said God had told you to pick another date as opposed to the one I picked initially. The other day when our daughter was still alive, I told you to pick jeans to dress for her to wear but you insisted on wearing her an Ankara dress instead claiming that God wanted her dressed in an Ankara dress. All these things sometimes need your common sense, not God. I wonder why you manage to bring him into every discussion and our lives." She lamented.

"God is my life Ifunaya. And I have learned to build my life around him. His desire is my desire that is the price I have paid to hear him. You cannot understand the principle of surrendering to God if you don't have a relationship with God. And that is why I can not be with anyone who has not built their lives around him or who doesn't know God."

She held my hands and I didn't ignore her this time. "Help me to know him. Teach me how to because I am so broken…" she broke into tears.

*********
That was a year ago after I led Ifunaya to Christ. She started staying in Lagos fully. She began to attend my church, and she began to grow in Christ. I, in turn, began to take her out for dates and dinners. Rita had asked if we were getting married sometime soon but I wasn't even sure because I had not heard from God yet. Nevertheless, I was positive that something good can come out of my friendship with Ifunaya.

"Are you still in love with her?" Chinedu, my brother asked me when we were on our way to the airport to pick Kauna. Who had decided to come home for the Christmas vacation.

I shrugged. I wasn't sure if it was love or pity.

"If it's just a pity it will be better if you stopped the relationship," Chinedu said.

I drove to the parking lot and parked the car. I slid out of the car and went into the airport. The airport was rowdy. Some faces looked worried as though they were in a haste to catch a flight. A mother was struggling to pull her suitcase and carry her child on the other free hand. I shifted my gaze away from her and was still surveying the other passengers until I heard my name and turned in the direction of my name.

"It's me, Kauna." The light-skinned beauty said.

But I refused to believe. I refuse to believe that the light-skinned, curvaceous lady in deep blue jeans trousers was Kauna. She looked, even more, prettier than I had seen her in Kaduna.

"Chuks! It's me. Kauna."

I embraced her. But it was an instinctive move. Later we walked towards the car park, listing about the summer holidays. Soon, we got home but was surprised when I met Ifunaya at home. She was at the dining table, arranging the plates for three. She froze on seeing Kauna.

"I didn't know you will be here. This is Kauna one of my mentees." I gestured to Ifunaya. "Kauna this is Ifunaya, my Fri-"

Kauna cut me off. "Oh, I remember Ifunaya. Your ex-baby mama? I remember so well Chuks." She snapped and went up the stairs followed by Chinedu who was at her tail.

"Chuks?" Ifunaya released a short dry laugh. She drew out a chair and sat on it. "Your mentees call you Chuks?"

A town wove its way to my face."What do you suggest she calls me then?"

She rose to her feet and began to arrange the plates on the dining. "I made fried rice you and Chinedu should come downstairs soon to eat."

"We are now four in this house Ifunaya. I can not eat while my guest starve."

She smiled and dumped the serving spoon on the table. "You know what, you and your guest can eat all!" She grabbed her purse and sauntered out of the house. It wasn't until I heard her car zoom off that I realized that she had just left.

What had just happened?