THE EVANGELIST...9

©Temi Akintade

We did mama's burial five days after I arrived in Abuja. My friend Dimeji had sent me some money for the flight but I kept the money instead of with a note to use it for my mother's burial. We were all mourning as it should be. I didn't know how best to mourn so I just sat still in a plastic chair in the room. I was afraid of going to the kitchen because everything still reminded me of her.

She would have been all in my space now, talking to me about marriage. I wanted such disturbance again. If only she could come back but God had told me that she was in a better place. But it wasn't so easy to forget my mother as though she never died.

In a bid to take some air, catch some fresh air since I have been indoors ever since my mother was buried, I walked out of my room to pass the back door which was in the kitchen. I didn't want to be seen by others or by anyone who would console me about my mother's death just like our neighbour who kept saying, I understand your pain. No, he didn't! How can he understand the pain of losing someone who has suffered her entire life for you! Someone who couldn't even wait to eat the fruit of her labour?

I scoffed and shook my head as I entered the kitchen. My eyes were becoming blurry with tears now. I was about to pass through the kitchen when my eyes caught something that stopped me abruptly.

"Wait, why are you eating Chinedu?" My hands tightened into a fist. What exactly was my brother's problem? How could he eat when his mother's body was alone in the cold dark ground?

"I'm hungry brother so I decided to eat some of the food Onome cooked. Her Ogbono is very good maybe you should try it." Onome was one of our distant relatives who came around to help out since our mother's demise.

"And is this how to mourn the mother who gave birth to you?" I thundered. I knew that people in the sitting room could hear my voice but I didn't care. I wanted answers from Chinedu.

He swallowed the last morsel in his hand and licked his fingers. "Brother, this is how best I can mourn. I don't like how our mother died but what am I to do? Kill myself? Or starve myself for days like you? Our mother is in heaven that is why I am eating right now."

In split seconds, I whipped him across his face with my hand and he busted into a scream attracting the several others who began to troop into the kitchen. My father tried to hold me back while others tried to console my wailing brother.

"Let me teach him some sense!" I yelled.

The neighbour who kept saying that he understands my pain said, "people mourn in different ways Chuks. Maybe this is how best he can mourn your mother. You do not have to be rash about it."

I pointed a finger at him and wagged it firmly. "You know nothing about losing someone so shut up! You keep saying I understand your pain when you don't! Have you ever loosed someone in your life?" My voice trembled.

"Yes, I loosed my first wife and child when she was trying to give birth to our first child a few months after our wedding. So I know what it means to lose someone." He said while he and others ushered my brother out of the kitchen. My father had left me at this moment because the man's statement calmed me.

I was still thinking about apologizing to my neighbour when my father said, "I raised you to be better than this Chuks. You should…"

"Hey just keep quiet sir! When did you ever raise me? Answer me when did you ever raise me as a father? Mama thought me all the things that I now know today! But you were never there! All you do is, drink beer as though you were baptized from birth with it."

His mouth gaped in surprise. Other relatives tried to shut me down but I cared less.

"This is just the beginning. I will make this life unbearable for you. As far as I'm concerned, you killed my mother!"

"I am a man, I made mistakes Chuks, costly ones. Please forgive me. Your mother forgave me before she died." My father said in a half-whisper. I have never seen him look so deflated and calm in all my life.

"You were not supposed to make mistakes! I don't care if you are a human. Some humans try to retrace their steps even when they make mistakes but not you. I will always hate you for as long as I live." I wiped my face to get rid of the tears and stormed out of the house.

I could hear the Holy Spirit tell me, let go of the past. Forgive your brother seventy-seven times seven times. According to the scripture in Mathew but I ignored his voice. I didn't want to forgive anyone. He should pay for his sins.

I was walking down the road and was just across a popular shopping mall in the town when a car horn dragged me to the present. At first, I thought that the jeep would hit me but when it stopped beside me, and the owner wind down its glasses, I was certain that the person wanted to ask for directions and I wasn't in the best mood.

"Chuks the evangelist! Longest time, how are you doing?"

I peered at the lanky man's face and then his face struck my mind immediately. It was one of the bad guys in our youth service days. We greeted and shook hands.

"What are you doing here in Gwagwalada?"

"I came to see someone. It's been a whole o! The Lord has been so good to me."

I paused. This was a guy who never knew God. So how come he was acting like he knew God now. "Wait, did you?"

"Yes, I am now born again." He smiled. "It happened immediately after our service, I was depressed and I wanted God to give me a job and that was how I met someone who explained the death of Christ to me and I surrender my life to Christ. A few days later, I met this your babe Ifunaya and she linked me with one of her uncles and got me a job in an oil company. Help me thank Ifunaya. My life has changed ever since God used her to give me this job." He ratted on… like a chatterbox.

My mind wandered away. This was my life this guy is living. He was given my job, and now he is driving my car and living my life! I was furious but I didn't show it. We later exchanged numbers and he drove away. When I got home, I locked myself in the room and began to cry.

"Father, how could you give that guy who just gave his life to you a job? And I'm still here suffering myself in that thick village. I don't want to see my mates and hide Lord. Do something! I can do all you want me to do here in the city. I cannot take this anymore!"

I kept sobbing and then I heard the Holy Spirit say, "your assignment and his assignment are different. And so your making and his making will be different. Patience son."

I didn't want to be patient. I was going to stay back in Abuja and get a part-time job at least so I could fend for my brother who has just gained admission to the university. My plan seemed perfect- then I dozed off